Reconcilable Differences NBCC, NASW approved.*
Chapter 1: Three Sides to Every Story
Chapter 2: Relationship Problems as Faults
Chapter 3: Relationship Problems as Incompatibilities
Chapter 4: Incompatibilities Over Love and Power
Chapter 5: Confusing Incompatibilities
Chapter 6: Relationship Problems as Vulnerabilities
Chapter 7: Relationship Problems as Solutions
Chapter 8: Acceptance and Change
Chapter 9: Acceptance Through Understanding
Chapter 10: Acceptance Through Compassion
Chapter 11: Acceptance Through Tolerant Distance
Chapter 12: The Dilemmas of Deliberate Change
Chapter 13: Accepting The Foibles of Rules
Chapter 14: Using Your Own Story to Make Genuine Change
Chapter 15: How Change and Intimacy Can Emerge From Defeat
Chapter 16: Violence, Verbal Abuse, and Infidelity
Chapter 17: Couple and Individual Therapy
Evaluation of Individual Objectives
To assess the effectiveness of the course material, we ask that you evaluate your achievement of each learning objective on a scale of A to D (A=excellent, B=good, C=fair, D=unsatisfactory). Please indicate your responses next to each learning objective and return it to us with your completed exam.
Table of Contents
Upon completing this course you’ll be able to:
- Describe the integrative couple therapy approach to counseling.
- List four common triggers for argument.
- Describe how our past affects both the present and the future.
- Explain relationship problems as they arise from incompatibilities.
- Describe the two central dimensions–closeness and power–that are central to all relationships.
- Explain how conflict within one person causes conflict between two people.
- Describe how ambivalence in partners causes confusion in the relationship.
- Describe how dramatic incidents of neglect and the more common, everyday instances of neglect and provocation can cause conflict in a relationship.
- Describe the issues and conflicts raised by power and control.
- Describe how major life stressors and daily stressors affect our vulnerabilities.
- Discuss how ineffective solutions in a relationship can create even bigger problems.
- Distinguish between the content of conflict and the process of conflict.
- Describe how conflicts in a relationship are scaled, positions become polarized and couples become alienated.
- Discuss the anatomy of an argument and show how toxic cures make the problem worse.
- Describe how efforts to reach out for family and friends in times of relationship problems can actually cause more problems.
- Distinguish between acceptance and change.
- Discuss how acceptance and change can help end conflicts in a relationship.
- Weave and tell a story about a couple’s relationship problems that captures the essence of the conflict.
- Discuss how things that are left unsaid in a relationship can escalate conflicts and hard feelings.
- Explain how couples can recover more quickly and more fully if they can discuss the conflict without reengaging in it.
- Distinguish between compassion and tolerance.
- Describe the importance of being able to step back from your conflict, detaching yourself from your emotions.
- Explain when the emotional distance is achievable and even desirable.
- Explain why behavioral changes are easier to make than emotional changes.
- Identify the five crucial conditions that an ultimatum should meet in order for the outcome to be positive.
- Identify five circumstances under which it’s easy for a partner to effect a change.
- List four actions of yours that would make it difficult for your partner to change.
- Describe the importance of communication in acceptance and change.
- Expose the limits and inadequacies of “rules of good communication.”
- Assess the benefits, the risks, and the difficulties of implementing a particular advice to avoid the creation of a reactive problem.
- Describe the pros and cons of “expressing feelings” in terms of psychological and physical benefits.
- Express feelings using “I” statements instead of “You.”
- Describe “active listening” and the roles played by the listener and the speaker.
- Discuss the process of negotiating reasonable compromises to relationship problems.
- Extract emotional messages buried in a conversation between two partners.
- Describe how awareness of emotions can help avert conflicts in a relationship.
- Identify three guidelines for hindsight awareness that may allow a couple to recover more quickly from their arguments.
- Explain how to change your relationship you first have to change yourself.
- Explain how one can stop complaining and criticizing, and take constructive action.
- Describe why it is often important to confront your partner to assert your needs even if doing so may hurt his or her feelings temporarily.
- Outline the strategies to minimize the damage when things are getting out of hand.
- Discuss three categories of action in relationships that should not be tolerated.
- Discuss the prevalence of violence, destruction and physical coercion in married or cohabiting couples.
- Define verbal abuse and distinguish between abusive and non-abusive criticisms.
- Make suggestions that would discourage verbal abuse.
- Describe the impact of infidelity on a relationship and help clients get through the trauma of infidelity.
- Describe couple therapy and distinguish between various forms of therapy.
- Choose an effective couple therapist from among various disciplines.
“This was by far the most informative home study course material that I have read!” – M.H.M., LSW, PA
“Very good book. I learned some new things even after 25 years as a therapist.” – M.R., LCSW, WI