Rebuilding when your relationship ends NBCC approved*

Course Description

In print for thirty-five years, Rebuilding is the number one trusted resource on divorce recovery. Now, this classic self-help book is available in an updated fourth edition, featuring a new introduction by coauthor Robert Alberti. If you are going through a painful breakup or divorce, you may feel like the life you once knew is crashing down around you. You need help to gather the pieces and “rebuild” yourself from the ground up. Rebuilding features Bruce Fisher’s “divorce process rebuilding blocks,” a proven-effective, nineteen-step process for putting one’s life back together after divorce. Now the most widely-used approach to divorce recovery, the “rebuilding” model makes the process healthier and less traumatic for those who are divorcing or divorced—and their children. Over two decades of research and practice are combined with feedback from hundreds of thousands of men and women who have used the book on their own, or in one of thousands of Fisher divorce recovery seminars worldwide. This book also includes Fisher’s detailed Healing Separation model—the first of its kind to offer couples a healing alternative to the usual slide from separation to divorce. This fourth edition, revised with the assistance of psychologist and marriage and family therapist Robert Alberti, continues Bruce’s tradition of straight-to-the-heart response to the needs of his clients and readers. If you’ve been struggling to rebuild your life after a divorce, this book offers just the right balance of shoulder-to-cry-on and kick-in-the-pants self-help!

Learning Objectives

After completing this course you’ll be able to:

Chapter 1: The Rebuilding Blocks

  1. Describe the rebuilding blocks model and identify the nineteen specific feelings and attitudes that make the model.

Chapter 2: Denial

  1. List all the wrong reasons for which many people get married.
  2. Ask questions that may help you recognize the ending of an unhappy relationship.

Chapter 3: Fear

  1. Make a list of fears that people face in the divorce process.

Chapter 4: Adaptation

  1. Explain how unhealthy adaptation strategies cause relationships to collapse.

Chapter 5: Loneliness

  1. Describe the three stages of loneliness.

Chapter 6: Friendship

  1. Identify four reasons for which we tend to lose friends once the marriage ends.

Chapter 7: Guilt/Rejection

  1. Distinguish between appropriate guilt and free-floating guilt.

Chapter 8: Grief

  1. Describe the problems associated with grief.
  2. Explain five stages of grief.

Chapter 9: Anger

  1. Explain the three phases of the anger rebuilding block.
  2. Distinguish between appropriate and aggressive anger.
  3. Develop assertive anger expression attitudes.

Chapter 10: Letting Go

  1. Explain why it is important to let go and identify factors that make it difficult to let go.

Chapter 11: Self-Worth

  1. Describe eleven steps to greater self-esteem.

Chapter 12: Transition

  1. Identify four leftover issues from the past that may hinder transition for the separated spouse.
  2. Describe three stages of childhood behavior and point out typical vocabulary and behavior of each stage.

Chapter 13: Openness

  1. Describe how masks can distance you emotionally from others and identify appropriate and inappropriate masks.

Chapter 14: Love

  1. Define love and distinguish between mature and immature love.
  2. Describe six types of love.

Chapter 15: Trust

  1. Explain the two major steps in the divorce adjustment process.
  2. Describe seven styles of relationship

Chapter 16: Relatedness

  1. Identify typical characteristics of growing relationships.
  2. Describe the pitfalls and benefits of passionate, emotional relationships.

Chapter 17: Sexuality

  1. Describe the common sexual situations a divorced partner encounters and suggest ways to handle them.

Chapter 18: Singleness

  1. Describe the joys and challenges of being single.

Chapter 19: Purpose

  1. Use the exercise of lifeline to set goals.

Appendix A: Kids Are Tougher Than You Think

  1. Identify seven stumbling blocks children face as they make the climb up the divorce recovery mountain.

Appendix B: The Healing Separation

  1. List guidelines for a successful healing separation.


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